Writing Thursday 15/10/20 - Group 4, 5 and 6

L.O.   Can I improve a piece of writing? 

What makes a great writer?

I want you to improve the writing pages 19/20 so that if there were no pictures we could still think about how the boy would feel.
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What could you add?

You may want to expand the text by including:

-Verb choice
-5 Senses:  Sight, sound, smell, taste, touch
-Expanded noun phrases
-Body language 
-Thoughts
-Feelings

Can you retell the story in an exciting way? 

My example for the first paragraph:

A strange, young boy   ran up to a group of hunters, gathered together in the beautiful, green fields. The  boy  was shouting and pointing   enthusiastically   towards the hills.   The  hungry hunters   quickly grabbed their spears   and   followed the young boy, rapidly running towards the hills.  Om and I ran behind the hunters, following them   with curiosity.

Now it's your turn. Can you retell the story in an exciting  way for pages 19 and 20 which are shown above. 

Think about:
-Verb choice
-5 Senses:  Sight, sound, smell, taste, touch
-Expanded noun phrases
-Body language 
-Thoughts
-Feelings

You can use  this online thesaurus to find exciting vocabulary to use. 
www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english-thesaurus

I can't wait to read your stories!